Covid-19 and lessons to be learnt: The Importance of experience - reflection - action.

19 Jul

The impact of the COVID-19 pandemic has had dramatic effects on almost all aspects of life, world-wide. Researchers and academics are no different in this regard. It has reduced job markets, cut funding, terminated collaborations, halted experiments and put in jeopardy a lot of the academic industry. Alex Brown felt these affects. Here, he discusses how the pandemic stopped him entering into his dream post-doc, the impact this has had on him and, through the power of reflect practise, he his trying to learn and grow from his experiences.

“ In May 2020 I was due to start a dream post doc in San Francisco. This was a career opportunity that I have been working tirelessly towards for a number of years. Unfortunately, this opportunity fell victim to the COVID-19 pandemic. This whole experience was devastating for me,”

It’s been over a year and a half and COVID-19 it still reaping havoc across the world, devasting lives and producing unforeseen challenges for many. But could it be that such a challenging period of our lives, could have some small sinews of positivity? In these circumstances, where life throws up some incredibly tough and demanding circumstances, the opportunities for lessons to be learnt are profound. In such circumstances, where life manages to throw us extreme obstacles, hurdles and the most challenging of scenarios, we, as humans, always find a way to adapt and more forward. Such a philosophy may be the same for example, throughout this pandemic, where everyone’s living arrangements, work, home life, social life and day-to-day normalities became completely over-turned.

In May 2020 I was due to start a dream post doc in San Francisco. This was a career opportunity that I have been working tirelessly towards for a number of years. Unfortunately, this opportunity fell victim to the COVID-19 pandemic. This whole experience was devastating for me, but, after initially working through the pain of this scenario, and through the practice of reflection, I have managed to take away many lessons, positives and processable actions from it. Time will tell how impactful these sinews of positivity will be for me, but the process of experience-reflection-action, has helped me on a personal level enormously. This article will describe this process in more detail, in the hope you too might be able to salvage something from the last year and a half.

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“Then, the devastating news hit. In August 2020 the post doc offer was rescinded. In addition, I had already paid May, June and half of July accommodation which was not refunded which equated to £3500 and including £500 for the VISA process (visa costs, travel and accommodation for interview), in total cost me approximately £4000. ”

There have been many ways in which the last year and a half have been different due to COVID-19. The pandemic not only affected how we go about our work but also affected us in our personal lives as well. The sheer list of normalities that have either directly or indirectly changed as a consequence of this pandemic, show the serious impact of it. Home-schooling, virtual teaching, mentoring and supervising; policies/regulations and paperwork; lab practices; physical and mental wellbeing; conferences; travel; family; furlough; career loss, changes and/or goals; social events/socialising; writing and reading; reviewing grants/articles; applied practice; mask wearing and international events (e.g. US election, Brexit, Black Lives Matter, Climate Change, Equality). These are all lived experiences and importantly, these lived experiences will have generated either negative or positive emotions and responses.

For me, as briefly mentioned above, this included the termination of a post-doctoral job offer. To add some context and detail, it was on Friday 20th December 2019 when I was offered the post doc position. The next stages were to complete the US visa application, contract details, travel and accommodation. The visa application was the unknown in terms of how long it would take, therefore, we provisionally agreed to the of 13th May 2020 as contract start date. In mid-February I was in London sorting out my visa application and interviews, with everything progressing really quickly. I had my flights booked, my accommodation and rent sorted and visa paid for (collectively ~£2.5k in total). I was very optimistic that things could be sorted sooner rather than later and was very eager to get to San Fran to delve into my new life. At the same time, however, the first positive infections for COVID-19 were identified, and this was about to put a big spanner in all my plans.

As time progressed, and the COVID-19 pandemic started to hit worldwide, the US restricted travel from the UK on the 14th March 2020. At this time, I was completely unsure what this included, and while some people were able to travel to America under exemption, I had no idea if this was me. I was hopeful that COVID-19 would be controlled and/or I would be allowed to travel. However, neither was the case, and we had to push back my contract start date, this happened twice from May to July and then to November.

I was continuing to pay for my newly sorted accommodation (from May), and we (me and my family) were constantly looking at ways to get to America indirectly including via Canada and South Korea. Both required an isolation of 14 days to gain entry into the US. Unfortunately, with two lots of flights, accommodation and living costs, I could not afford to do this financially. In addition, the risk of catching COVID-19 on route would have prevented me to travel and also possibly (depending on how I was affected) resulted in medical costs. Although incredibly tough to take, it was not worth the risk, especially when COVID-19 was escalating so rapidly, especially in the US. While this became a whirlwind of emotion, stress, pressure and continued unknowing, I remained confident that I could find a way to get myself to America and begin my new job. The one I had been working so hard, for so long for.

Then, the devastating news hit. In August 2020 the post doc offer was rescinded. In addition, I had already paid May, June and half of July accommodation which was not refunded which equated to £3500 and including £500 for the VISA process (visa costs, travel and accommodation for interview), in total cost me approximately £4000. As I had only just finished my PhD, and hadn’t yet been able to find a job, I had no direct income and these costs depleted me of all of my savings. Fortunately, throughout all of this experience, the University, and the lab that offered me the position were amazing and supported me throughout and it was frustrating for them as it was for myself.

Nonetheless, after working so hard for my PhD, after going through all the tribulations of securing a job post PhD (read our article on this to understand just how difficult this is here) and being so willing to make it work, I know found myself without my dream job, my savings account depleted and in a COVID-19 ravaged academic world, very few opportunities to work with.

This was an insight into my personal experience from 2020. It was as difficult logistically as it was mentally for me. This experience was almost entirely destructive. On the periphery of it, in fact, it is very difficult to see any part of my story to be overly happy about at all. However, after doing some soul searching and giving myself the time needed to reflect on my whole experience, I was able to pull out some shreds of positivity.

Firstly, I want to provide some background into reflection, which, above all else, is a skill. Like all skills, therefore, it is one that can be improved and developed on a continual basis. Reflection is not a new concept with key models dating back to 1984. These models differ in their approach to reflection which I have broadly defined as the active, persistent and careful consideration of one’s actions, thoughts and feelings. Indeed, reflection is now considered an essential part for individuals/groups self-learning and is used throughout many areas of life (Menard & Ratnapalan 2013). The models mentioned in the schematic below provide valuable information as a starting point, however, I have personally found it beneficial to create my own approach which incorporates aspects of these models that are tailored to me and work both conceptually and practically. As with many aspects in life, it is rarely one size fits all, and as with any skill, reflection requires practice and constant evaluation. Therefore, it is important to reflect on the techniques you use and look for avenues to improve and extract the most out of the process.

You may have noticed that within these models (schematic in article) include the basis of this article, to experience, reflect and act. Within this reoccurring process, I personally believe that reflection can actively be developed and can provide more opportunities for growth. The key word is actively, and therefore, next I will discuss some practical approaches that are used for individuals/groups and also some that I use.

There are a few common techniques that individuals/groups use for reflection. They include portfolios, logs, essays and reflecting through continuing development plans. Many reflective plans vary considerably in the frequency (daily, weekly, monthly), in the detail (pages, bullet points, paragraphs) and techniques used. Therefore, it is important to decide what is best for you, and ultimately, how important you think reflecting is and how much time and energy you want to invest. However, I believe that reflection is important and implementing a technique regularly to the point of habit will provide numerous benefits. From a group perspective, it is important that open and honest discussions occur where a framework for reflection is developed that benefits everyone. Indeed, being honest with yourself is an incredibly important aspect of successful reflection.

“Nonetheless, after working so hard for my PhD, after going through all the tribulations of securing a job post PhD ... and being so willing to make it work, I know found myself without my dream job, my savings account depleted and in a COVID-19 ravaged academic world, very few opportunities to work with. ”

My Own Reflective Practices:

I have a two-pronged approach; firstly, I keep a diary where I try to reflect daily and secondly, I have a reflective log for critical experiences that require further detail.

The diary is a reflective approach where I go over daily events and write freely about what happened, what I was feeling (good and bad), what could I have done differently and how I could have improved the situation. This is like writing a quick overview of the day, and only takes 5-10 minutes, depending on the day. I particularly enjoy free writing and finish the log by making a bullet point list (never more than 3) of what I want to improve or try for the following day. Sometimes these ‘experiments’ end up being useless, but I am happy with that, often trial and error is the best way. Indeed, this technique resulted in me emailing Rob about the idea for this article.

The second technique is more of a purposeful inquest into my experience. This involves asking myself some key questions that stimulate reflection and search for lessons and improvements. These are an example of my key questions, tailored to my own shared example:

1) How did the whole process make me feel?

Up until the travel ban, I was extremely excited, nervous and determined. For me, this was always a challenge moving abroad and starting a post doc, which I perceived as one of the best in the world and in itself would have been a massive challenge, something that excited me. As the pandemic grew, I started to feel more nervous as I was unsure if the position was going to be delayed or even terminated. As time progressed though, my gut instinct told me that it was now only a matter of when, not if, the position would be rescinded. This was more due to the fact that the pandemic was ruining everything, and I thought it would be the same for me. Until the proverbial nail had been put into the coffin however, I remained optimistic that I would be able to join my new lab at some point. This cycle of almost inevitable finality, mixed with a desire to remain optimistic and motivated, spilled over into frustration. This emotion was more directed at the smaller logistics of my scenario, the accommodation for example, for which I was still having to pay full price for, after being refused a reduction in price. This frustration did not really occur in relation to the position though, probably as I had understood this to be something completely out of my control and I was not too affected (read our article on controlling the controllable here). Even after moving the contract back again to November, we (both me and lab) saw the position as happening. However, in August the bad news was passed on. Honestly it took me a long time for the realisation to hit, initially I thanked the lab lead for telling me face to face (albeit virtually), I acknowledged how hard it must have been for them and how it was also out of their control. Eventually, sadness and frustration set in. Finally, however, there were some positive emotions that were experienced throughout, especially as I was invited to and engaged in lab meetings/journal club with the lab, this for me was exciting and amazing, especially getting to know the lab and talking about science.

2) Was the position worth pursuing for so long?

Yes, absolutely. This might seem like an obvious answer. However, sometimes you think it is easier to cut your losses and have the mindset ‘it was never meant to be’, ‘I am just wasting my time’ or ‘it is not worth the mental and emotional stress’. Especially with the ongoing costs, raging pandemic and associated health concerns, as well that little voice saying it is only a matter of when, not if. Regardless of those doubts and thoughts, the opportunity was undoubtably worth fighting for and the benefits, if the position worked out, would have massively outweighed these disadvantages.

3) What were the positives and negatives?

With this question, I always like to start positively. One massive positive for me was that I was offered a position, that in itself was an achievement given how hard it is to secure a job in academia. Originally, I did not think I would even make the interview stage. This was mainly because I did not think I had enough experience/publications in certain areas for the position. However, as I quickly learnt, the lab was more interested in potential, passion and the person versus experience and publications. In addition, the time spent with the lab virtually was a great experience. One other benefit included additional time spent on finishing outstanding publications, which would have been a lot harder if in a full-time position. Probably the most positive of all was spending time with my parents, and when restrictions were eased, close family. This made me realise how fortunate and grateful I was during this time, I was in an environment that was safe, healthy and financially beneficial (little expenses).

In contrast, the obvious negative would be that, if everything had gone to plan, I would have been over 1 year (as of writing this article) into my post doc position by now. However, all the experiences this would have provided me are now lost, for example, the multiple advantages of starting research in a new lab, the social aspects (making new friends, developing relationships etc) and cultural aspects associated with moving to another country/city. I won’t go into anymore detail on the associated negatives of my scenario as the list would take several minutes to read in itself. But you can imagine just how many there are. And, in addition to these, the financial costs I endured trying to create my move abroad (~£4k worth of costs).

4) In hindsight, what are the lessons to be learnt and what would I implement in the future?

The latter part of this question I will cover in the final section, as it falls under the action part of the model. Indeed, in this experience, the lessons to be learnt were difficult to prise out, mainly due to many aspects being out of my control. However, hindsight is still a wonderful thing. Firstly, I would have taken considerably more risk with the contract start date. I would have moved the date forward to the beginning of March. This would have been a big risk, as interview spots for the VISA process were few and far between, but I would have travelled to Ireland or London at any time/day regardless of cost. Another lesson was to contact the US Immigration, government, other organisations to establish if there was any way of becoming exempt to travel. From my understanding from the international office at the university there was no exceptions, but I wish I pursued anyway. I have learned a lot from lab meetings, including how the lab functioned, within themselves, but with the university and other labs within that area. Along with the science discussed, challenges faced etc, they were all areas that I learned from. For instance, I spoke to my previous supervisor, and they pointed out that I was more confident and astute in asking important questions, something that I did not notice and developed during those lab meetings. This in itself was a lesson, in that asking for honest feedback from peers or colleagues provides unnoticed areas of development. This is why discussing experiences with others is critical, especially for yourself and others. Finally, I learnt that having a vision and a landmark to aim for is really important when looking for other future research opportunities. I now always ask myself; will this position further my development towards that goal of mine? This has definitely made me more careful and selective of opportunities that I apply for.

Throughout the pandemic, what experiences did you have? Did you adapt your approach, your thinking? What did you learn? How did it make you feel? Was it worth it or not? How would you do it differently with the aim of improving? I would argue these questions would stimulate some key periods of reflection. One relevant area would be mental well-being, which would have definitely been affected in 2020. Indeed, the past articles published in Inside Academia (including Racism, Career Failures, Re/establishing Support Systems and many more) are based on individuals reflecting, and thus provide great insights into how people were feeling and what actions they took.

This brings us onto the last part of this model, once you have gone through an experience and reflected on that experience you then have to act on areas that you want to improve. There is no point in writing down your feelings, what you learnt and what you want to do without taking action (or creating a new experience). These actions can often and should require some risk, moving outside your comfort zone and challenging yourself. Hopefully it is now clear that reflecting on both positive and negative experiences and taking action (being proactive) are vital for one’s development.

Before you act, careful consideration and planning is required. You need to think carefully about the how, when and, most importantly, why you want to act. It is essential that the new experience you want to encounter is related to what you want to achieve, because ultimately you are going to expend energy and time which are valuable resources.

With my scenario, there are aspects that I would have done differently if I was in a similar situation again. I would have taken larger risks (contract date) and explored and exhausted all known avenues to accomplish the task (exemption to travel). One aspect in particular I wanted to take action on was discussing reflections and experiences with other people. Honestly, the start of me acting on this experience was with this article, so I am still in the early stages. I wanted to think of an opportunity to share my experiences and my process of reflection with others. In general, I am still thinking of ways to act on this in other settings, for example with family, friends, colleagues etc. I think it is important to consider that 1) everyone must be open and honest 2) willing to invest some time and energy, 3) that it will work both ways 4) willing to actively listen and not judge and 5) knowing the overall goal (the why). For instance, some could have read this article and be thinking, those mistakes or areas you did not cover in your post doc experience are so obvious, I cannot believe you did not think of them. Alternatively, some similarly would have not thought about those aspects. This is why learning from our own and other people’s experiences and reflections is so important. We might be able to offer ideas and solutions to others and vis versa. This is something we do not do enough of, in my opinion.

Taking action is probably the hardest part for most people, it involves that willingness to accept that even if an action is carefully planned it might not work as expected, or that it might lead to more mistakes, more trauma, more risk, it will make you uncomfortable, it could be combination of all these factors and others. Ultimately, it requires us to be proactive, remember why and take the mindset that these experiences are all just opportunities for growth.

Summary

In summary, I think it is fair to say this last year and a half was different in multiple ways, lots of challenges, periods of sadness and frustration as well as some moments positivity and excitement (never forget these). All are opportunities to reflect, learn and act. I imagine many already do this, maybe habitually or instinctively, some may not. Regardless, experience-reflection-action is a model that can always be developed and now is a perfect time to practice.

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